Guys, I keep forgetting that my birthday is tomorrow. Work was like, "It's your birthday? Why didn't you say something? We would have planned something!" And my friends were like, "Facebook told us it was your birthday! Let's do something!" And I'm like, "Oh, right. Natality. That thing. Whoops."

It's just never been a super-big deal for me, but, you know, yay for maintaining aliveness for another year. I'm working tomorrow, and then me and my friend L are going to go make sushi and watch musicals. So that's pretty cool.

CAN I JUST SAY: THANK GOD BURN NOTICE IS BACK. I MISSED YOU MICHAEL WESTEN.

I'm on a West Wing binge right now--I've worked my way through seasons one to seven in the last three weeks or so, between moving and going to London and Liverpool and working and, you know, trying not to explode in a ball of attractive yet explodey stress. (I got my keys back, if you were wondering, but I feel no less silly.) It's fascinating to watch the season seven election storyline now, with the actual election going on--Matthew Santos, the democratic candidate on TWW, was based on Obama long before he entertained notions of running for president, and it's fucking eerie how similar TWW is to what has actually happened.

I also have some thoughts on how TWW changed post-Sorkin, but mostly they boil down to the fact that the show changed from Sorkin's particular brand of comedy-infused drama to straight up drama with a little funny. Wells took the show in a different direction, and watching it a few years removed, I'm not convinced it was a bad one. Sorkin has such a specific voice, as a show-runner, not unlike Whedon; and I think when Wells was brought on he and the producers decided not to try to mimic it, which is what gave them another three seasons, really. They had no pretension to Sorkin, and whatever fans might say about TWW after season four, it was still a strong show. (And frankly, I was going to throw something if I had to watch another bitchy slapfight from Sorkin to the fans of his show, because god, what a douchebag move that was.)

Anyway. I'm trying to settle down enough to write, because my fingers are starting to itch; but my dissertation is pressing down on me, and while I love my new job it's a little exhausting. I have so much in my head, guys. I just want to get it down for you to read.

Oh! My mother sent me a big box of food from the States for my birthday, because she's amazing. You're totally going to laugh at what I requested, but I've been living abroad for a few years now and it's surprising what you miss. Por ejemplo: Peeps. Reece's Cups. Rice a Roni (chicken flavour!). Anything to do with Taco Bell (and I do not care what you say, it is just NOT THE SAME here). Kraft Mac and Cheese (shut up, okay, it's awesome. and gross. but mostly awesome). The only thing I didn't get were Cheetos, but my parents brought some when they were here in May, and I remembered them for the crack that they so obviously are. God help me when I move back. cass_404, you must keep me away from them at all costs. Which, actually, doesn't matter, because you live across from a fucking TJ's, and I will be stuffing my face with puffed corn all day every day. Damn.

Miss you guys, for real. Life is less fun without this nonsense in it.

Oh my god, my life. Let's start by saying that London, the Internet, and Panic at the Disco are a combination made of win. They were so much better than they were in March--more confident, more relaxed, more songs. Spencer Smith smiled! Spencer Smith sang (no lie)! Spencer Smith was really hot and so was his boyfriend Jon Walker! Brendon was a manic manic thing, and Ryan Ross started rocking out halfway through (which mostly consisted of a couple of head-bobs and some rocking in place, but it totally counts) and I saw Zack and pretended he didn't exist! It was highly pleasurable on all counts.

And then I came home, faceplanted, worked a lot, and then went off to Liverpool to see elle_dritch and Lupe Fiasco. Good sweet jesus, Lupe Fiasco kicks ass. That has to be one of the best live shows I have ever seen in my life, and it went on for over an hour and a half and was so, so, so good. He just fucking owns that stage. I was second from the barrier, so I had the most perfect view of the stage (which, apart from the startling realization that being that close meant that the people on the stage could see me, was awesome) and the energy that these guys brought was just phenomenal. I highly rec his gigs, and I really hope he tours the US in the fall when I go back so I can see him again.

So then I came home, only to discover I had left my keys--and only my keys--in Liverpool at V's house. And my landlord, as it turned out, was in Edinburgh. Homeless for the win? So I crashed on a friend's floor last night, rang into work to tell them I was going to be late waiting for the landlord, and discovered that I had reversed my shift in my head. It was not, in fact, 11:30-7:30. It was 7:30-2:30. And I still wasn't going to be able to come in until 12:30. AWESOME.

But! I got my femslash08 story in, and the sun is shining, and I refuse to fuck up again before my birthday on Saturday. All I want is sleep. Sleep and maybe some lazing. But instead I am going to go shower quickly, shove some food in my mouth, and sling coffee for a few hours before my run-through of Richard III this evening. No break for meeeeeeeeee.

Fuck, I am tired.

Man, skip=950 and still behind. Sometimes I just go through these periods where there is just too much information; other times, there's just not enough. Right now, I am far too enamoured of Pete Wentz's new dog who is seriously the cutest thing to ever live. My sister just got a puppy too, and I feel all gooey and, well, puppy-happy.

sekkritbandomlj is so good to me, and this is why:



That's the last scene of A Brokedown Melody, guys, rendered like she took it from my brain. I just, I love it so hard. Thank you, darling.

Thank you to everyone who has continued to comment on the story, or mention it in various corners of livejournal-land. I had the, um, unique experience of the story showing up on del.icio.us's hotlist for a short while, since over 100 people had tagged the URL. (Thanks to ifyouweremine for pointing it out.) Which, wow. Just wow. And also kind of scary! Because that is a very public thing. But anyway, you guys all loving it as much as I do it incredibly gratifying, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm trying to get my head in the game with regards to my dissertation, which is a little challenging for a number of reasons--I had a show this weekend, I'm in rehearsal for Richard III for August, I'm moving this weekend, and my mind is in a thousand different places. I'm going down to London a week from tomorrow to see Panic play (and frolic with the likes of megolas and jamjar who are the kindest people in all of Kindonia), and a week after that I will have the true pleasure of watching Lupe Fiasco perform in Liverpool with the always delightful elle_dritch.

TAI and Cobras have all their dates lined up for September, as well, so I need to see about sorting those out. And somewhere in between this junk I have to write a dissertation. Or, well, the other way around.

With that in mind, it's back to the grindstone for me. Metaphorically.

GUESS WHO IS SEEING PANDEMONIUM AT THE THEATRE IN LONDON.

WHY YES THAT WOULD BE ME.

WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE I REALLY LIKE.

YAY.

First, please let me show you the most delightful thing in my world right now, courtesy of sekkritbandomlj:



HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS JON WALKER? Answer: a whole lot! <3 <3 <3 Thank you, sweetie!

Also, I want to thank again everyone who's commented and apologise for my utter fail at comment responding. You guys are all amazing, and I thank you for your thoughts and praise and the sheer delight you're taking in A Brokedown Melody.

( some author's notes on 'A Brokedown Melody' for those of you guys that are interested. )

Okay, and there was one thing I wanted to talk about that was brought up in beta. A friend mentioned to me, as we were talking about how the Jon/Spencer was a bit rushed (which is is, damned deadlines), how she likes a lot of build-up and dancing around and flirtations with sexuality and everything; and this relates too to the handful of comments mentioning how it was no big deal that Jon was bi. ( behind the cut: discourse on the universe I tend to work in, when it comes to sexuality, and why. )

And finally! I have, unwittingly, started to write the companion to A Brokedown Melody, and I would feel bad about that in the face of all the work I have to do, but I read five and a half papers today. Which is...not enough. But it's something! Anyway, here, have a taste. ( oh look, it's another lj cut. )

Dear Brendon Urie,

Oh, honey.

I'm not one to criticise others' choices for their ink, because the things you put on your body indelibly should have meaning for you first and the rest of the world secondarily, if at all. The ever expanding piano keys were not something I, personally, would have chosen, but if it works for you and you're happy with it, fuck everyone else's opinion.

The new ink, though? Personally, I think they're beautiful (hibiscus, I think) and even in graininess you can see the artist did a great job with the shading.

...but couldn't you have made the flowers anywhere other than coming out of the piano keys? It just looks kind of ridiculous on already ridiculous ink.

I will be fascinated if you decide to go for a full half-sleeve though.

fuck my opinion anyway,
me.


ETA: Better pictures over here.

I am really, really, really pleased with the outcome for Top Chef.

( spoilers for seasons 1-4 behind the cut. )

Guys. You guys.

I just--three pages of comments and I only posted this thing on Tuesday? I am just utterly overwhelmed by the response. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your feedback; it means the world to me to know that other people like the Jon Walker that's been locked up in my head as much as I do. Seriously, I am just a hot mess of fangirl right now, and I just keep making ::hands:: at what you guys are saying. Thank you so much.

I will do my best to reply properly to everyone's comments today, but I have to go read ethcis essays, so it might take me some time. (I'm magnificently truant in replying to comments, particularly feedback; I read them all, you guys, and flail like a madwoman. I just keep failing to say thank you because I am lame.)

Thank you. So much. All of you. You guys are the reason I write these stories--because I can't get them out of my head, and because they make other people happy. Kind of like Jon Walker. :)

And just in case you were wondering? Yeah, there's more. There's like a lot more. /o\ MUST WRITE DISSERTATION.

Title: A Brokedown Melody
Author: SA [sathinks]
Disclaimer: I think the part about Jon being a surfer is kinda not real. See: fake things about real people. Said real people, kindly do not read.
Notes: This story literally would not exist without the patience, feedback, and cheerleading I had from aillean23. Thank you so much for listening to me spin this story in spits and starts, sweetie. To the Flail Squad for their frank and earnest discussion with me and for their spicy brains. This story began its life sometime in February of this year when I was just finding out who all these jokers were. I saw this picture of Jon from Leeds 2007 and all I could think was, "Panic at the Disco stole Jon from a surf-rocker band!" Those fateful words led me to this 33,000 word wonder, which is the single longest thing I have ever written and one of the stories I am most proud of in my writing career, such as it is.

( When Jon is twelve, his parents move the family to Hawai'i. )

Continued from part one.

( part two )

Continued from part two.

( part three )

Continued from part three.

( part four. )

I was very fortunate in bandombigbang to receive a fanartist and two fanmixes.

My fanart was done by fishchan912 and is just absolutely gorgeous. She really captured Jon Walker for me. Thank you so much! (Tell her in the comments that you love it too!)
( fanart! )

( fanmixes! by beachsidebingo and sweetrecovery. )


And because I had such a specific Jon Walker in my head as I was writing this, here's a bonus picspam.

( picspam! +23 pictures of jonny walker behind the cut. )

Thanks for coming along for the ride, kids!

Title: the rug burns on both my knees
Author: SA [sathinks]
Disclaimer: Fake things about real people. Don't google yourself, kids (and family members of kids), you won't like what you find.
Notes: Unrepentant, self-indulgent Jon/Spencer angry!sex porn, and scurrilous lies about Transformers. Title from "One Week" by BNL. Three thousand words. Very, very NC-17.

( Later, neither of them will remember what the argument was about. )

My mother won't send me the new Kushiel book because "it's too heavy" to mail to the UK.

>.<

I mean, I understand; shipping it to me costs about as much as the book did. But I have been waiting a *year* for this book, I can't get it in the UK, it's not available ANYWHERE I CAN FIND as an ebook, from both reputable and ::coughcough:: sources. How intensely frustrating. And there is no way I won't get spoiled for it, either.

My emo is mostly gone. But still, what a day.

As I am pretty much the anti-awesome right now, I was trying to come up with e_juliana what should be the soundtrack for my emo. (I am clearly using this ironically, okay? No arguments about what emo means pls thanks.)

sathinks: what should the soundtrack be to my emo failure girlpain?
e_juliana: the classic would be leonard cohen
e_juliana: unless you're feeling more stroppy, in which i would say tom waits
sathinks: true true
sathinks: I'm not sure I'm emo enough for jeff buckley
sathinks: that's more "my significant other left me and took the dog with him or her"
sathinks: actually, some coltrane or davis would probably jar me out of my emo. so that's an option.
e_juliana: there is that.
sathinks: joy division, for maximum emo in shortest amount of time.
sathinks: the smiths: upbeat emo
sathinks: neko case: murder and hide the body emo
sathinks: phillip glass: minimalist emo
sathinks: pixies: surf rock emo.
sathinks: radiohead: I need some speed emo
sathinks: ryan adams: fake cowboy emo
e_juliana: ::stabbinates ryan adams::
sathinks: the shins: hipster emo
sathinks: are you enjoying your trip through my ipod?
e_juliana: i am, actually
sathinks: vienna teng: death in a sweet voice emop
e_juliana: apocalyptica?
sathinks: apocalyptica: if we play fast enough we can beat the emo out of ourselves emo
sathinks: the wallflowers: not even worthy of the term emo emo
e_juliana: ah, the wallflowers. right along with counting crows as my college pseudo-emo
sathinks: yeah yeah yeahs: screechy airy emo
sathinks: yo yo ma: the cello is my emo
e_juliana: BWAH!
sathinks: +44: band created from the emo of another band emo
sathinks: aqualung: if we were any more emo we would be nothing but tears
sathinks: the beach boys: emo in the sunshine
sathinks: dylan: lie across hwy 61 and wait for a car to run over you emo
sathinks: broken social scene: canadian emo
sathinks: calexico: mariachi-appropriating emo
sathinks: christina aguilera: I will survive emo
sathinks: cory branan: I'm a bad bad man but you like me anyway emo
e_juliana: nrgh. cory. nrgh.
sathinks: amusingly, this whole thing is knocking me out of my emo.
sathinks: oh, irony.

Some pictures have surfaced from baby's first music video, and I can't even imagine what that must be like. Or, I can, but how surreal must that be? There are a lot of things I could say about The Cab, and most of them involve threesomes, but if their marketing keeps up like this--this fast-moving internet buzz that results in getting them pushed onto the mtvU and consequentially the MTV charts by the end of the summer? I think the Cab babies should gear up for the ride of their lives.

John Mayer and Pete had a date (happy birthday bb!) which is just the kind of crack that should give rise to more fanfiction, yes? Also, my god, how short is Pete Wentz.

Hello, my favorite famous comic geek. Gway interned at DC? I'm not sure if I'm more jealous or enthused. From the article:

Deborah Jill Draisin: There’s a book “My Name Is Asher Lev” by Chaim Potok which tells the story of a Hasidic Jewish painter whose first showing features a painting of his mother on a cross, and he actually gets excommunicated for the atrocity. That story to me kind of furthers the strength of that image. What other images strike you as unforgettably daunting in that manner?

Gerard Way: “The Lovers” by Magritte has been the one painting that I saw while I was at Art School that really stood out to me, and like again with where I get my angular things from: I love “Guernica;” I think that painting is one of the most unbelievable things to me ever. I mean there’s not a whole lot really as far as the ones that really kind of stood out to me, like album covers more than anything. I’m trying to think of the ones that really…I mean probably most of the Pink Floyd albums.

...dudes, I'm not going to claim that Gway is the Most Amazing Artist ever, because no, but "Guernica" sure explains a lot about his love of right angles in his drawings. I mean, that as much as the stuff he did over at Cartoon Network which obviously influencing his design style, but still.

Um, Nick Scimeca? I'm pretty sure the cat was out of the bag about A&K Chicago, like, months ago. I mean, if there's a website, it has to be real, right? Or at least, if you're taking applications for staff and you have a rumoured opening date, Nick, I don't think it's some big dandy secret. However, the ways you amuse me continue onwards, so please, never stop being yourself.

Does anyone have a copy of the MCR String Quartet Tribute? I....yeah. There are no words. Just, you know, please?

Dear Television,

I would like Psych and Burn Notice back now pls. kthxbai.

impatiently,
me.

Dear bands that I like,

Why do you persist in giving me angina by putting out sweet-jesus dates there's no chance I can go to? Why?

Decaydance Off Warped Tour Dates
This summer, be sure to catch Cobra Starship on their Decaydance Off Warped Tour dates with Gym Class Heroes, The Academy Is... and Four Year Strong - check out the dates below and be sure to get your tickets now!

06/27 Las Vegas, NV @ Jillian's
07/08 New Orleans, LA @ House Of Blues
08/07 Missoula, MT @ Wilma Theater
08/11 Eugene, OR @ McDonalad Theater

Cobras. Academy. AND MOTHERFUCKING GYM CLASS. All in the same place, in a place that is not Warped.

I swear, if I didn't love your asses so much I'd leave you all behind.

(That is a complete and total lie.)

heart attackingly yours,
me.

It is possible that porridge with strawberry jam and strong coffee can save the world.